It was the least gentle bit of parenting my neighborhood has probably seen in the last three years.

Its how we get around.

I cant drive, you cant drive, so this is our best option.

12 Parenting Resolutions I Absolutely Wont Be Keeping in 2024

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All of which fills me with high hopes for teaching him how to swim.

There will be less screen time

Not for my son, of course.

But really, hes not nearly as addicted as he used to be.

The problem is me.

Honestly, I dont know howNewsrounddoes it.

Could you possibly pick up my son too and Ill be over to get him as soon as possible?

He will eat any dry snack as long as its beige.

Finding stones, hitting sticks with other sticks, weeing on electric fences; I honestly dont care.

Ill be sitting on my coat, on my phone, as the blue paint smudges onto my trousers.

Does it contribute to good oral hygiene?

Does it mean that he tells his teachers and other adults that hes done his teeth?

Just dont ask me when I last took him to the dentist.

God, I want to go to bed.

And as early as possible.

Since becoming a parent, I have fallen asleep to the sound of ice-cream vans.

I have fallen asleep to the noise of children playing hopscotch after dinner.

I recently fell asleep to the soundtrack of my son reading a 1992 copy ofTheBeanoto himself.

In our house, regularly, my six-year-old son is the last person to go to bed.

Fair expectations, like: you’re able to only do what you’re able to do.

Fair expectations, like: honestly, just dont bother, love.