I am very much the only adult in this theater not in the company of a child.2.
I cant believe the 10 a.m. showing ofSnow Whiteat the Grove isnt a hot spot for childfree urban millennials.3.
Aw, tiny squirrels!4.
Photo: Courtesy Everett Collection
Or rats?5.
Im into Snow Whites moms brocade caftan.7.
Damn, Disney, chill with the dead moms!9.
Oop, theres Gal Gadot.10.
A lot of exposition about the wicked stepmother being done very rapidly here.11.
Fair enough, I guess we all know the story at this point.12.
A child in my screening is crying in fear of the enchanted mirror, which is also fair enough.13.
This Disney prince isnt that hot, but I respect his anti-royalist stance.17.
Why doesnt AMC serve medieval banquets?
My popcorn is really not doing the job right now.18.
I like that theyve made Snow White a socialist.
Bread and roses for all!19.
Now why did they give sweet Rachel theLord Farquaad?20.
Rachel really does have the voice of an angel.21.
Okay, a little wind in the bob is making me like it more.22.
This tartan apron is kind of working, too!23.
Maybe he is hot, actually.25.
The kid in my theater is crying about the mirror again :(26.
Time for Snow White to go into the forest to pick apples, per the evil queens decree.27.
Dont give the queen Snow Whites heart!28.
Speaking of men in this movie who are kind of hot…hello, Huntsman.29.
Oh, I LIVE for this CGI deer.31.
I miss my dog.32.
AMC should allow dogs.33.
Specifically, my dog.34.
Okay, sorry, back to the movie.35.
This CGI is truly crazy work, but I love it nonetheless.37.
Ooh, I like the Lord Farquaad bob when its wet and a little tousled.38.
I want all of these animals to tuck me in.
Some girls have all the luck!39.
Okay, these CGI dwarves are an absolute jump-scare.40.
Cant say that Im a fan of their rendering!41.
I wish I lived in a little cottage with six of my friends, TBH.42.
Should I get an old-school triangular sleeping cap?43.
These guys really came around to Snow White fast, I have to say.44.
Oh, shit, mirrors back and hes crowned Snow White the fairest of them all.45.
This song could be going harder, sorry.46.
Bros, ease up on Dopey, for the love of God!47.
Aw, I like his friendship with Snow White.48.
Whistle While You Work is RTO propaganda.
You heard it here first!49.
Ooh, rendezvous with the hot rebel in the forest!50.
Wait, hes not anti-monarchist!
He hates the Evil Queen, but hes loyal to the king!Boooooo.51.
Free yourself, my man!52.
This song about how everythings horrible is really hitting in this current political moment.53.
I do love a Disney fight scene.54.
The soldiers hats are quite chic, must say.
The little blue plumes?
If we can give up our meager scraps, we will inherit what was meant for all of us.
There is power in a union!56.
Oh, spoke too soon, he fixed up the hot rebel!
Okay, Noah Wyle onThe Pitt!58.
I like this drum set housed inside a giant wooden bird.59.
How is the CGI on this movie managing to make fireflies creepy?60.
For those keeping up with the scared-kid saga, I think he and his mom left the theater.
Refund them at once, AMC!
Justice for my startled king!61.
Oooooh, romance brewing.62.
Girl, never give a man your emotionally significant jewelry!63.
Especially if hes going to be dumb enough to wear it in front of the Evil Queen.64.
Okay, I hated the Evil Queens hag transformation soooooooo much.65.
Poison apple time!66.
Oh no, the Evil Queen had Snow Whites dad killed!69.
What in the Substance are these rapid hottie-to-crone transformations?70.
These dwarves are sweeties for keeping a vigil besides Snow White.71.
The boys (a.k.a.
the Huntsman and the hot rebel) are soooooo back in town.72.
Oh no, the deer is sad!74.
This I cannot bear.75.
Okay, Snow Whites up and looking daisy-fresh!76.
We love to see it.77.
See you in hell, Evil Queen!78.
Theres a new royal couple in town, baby!!!
And theyre hot!79.
