Jackie Pilossoph is a hopeless romantic.
I love love, she says.
I cant get enoughrom-comsor romance novels.
Photo: Clarissa Vivirito / Millennium Images / Gallery Stock
Ive been this way since I started dating at 16.
Shes so infatuated with love, in fact, that her entire career revolves around it.
Not only does she write a relationship advice column, but she also runs abusinessdedicated to cultivating empowerment post-divorce.
I am constantly writing and talking about hope for finding love, she says.
Thats not to say that her own love life has always been sunsets and champagne.
Though shes happily married now, she admits shes dealt with her share ofunfulfilling past relationships.
Being a hopeless romantic can cause you to put up with a lot of bad behavior.
Below, she and other experts share their advice on how to do just that.
What is a hopeless romantic?
Despite the phrasing, hopeless romantics are generally pretty hopeful.
They consistently see the good in others, says psychologistShaakira Haywood Stewart.
Of course, this can manifest in a number of ways.
Is being a hopeless romantic bad?
Being a hopeless romantic isnt inherently bad.
To that end, hopeless romantics can also make effusive, exciting partners.
A hopeless romantic brings warmth and a sense of opportunity to a relationship, says dating coachNash Wright.
In other words, hopeless romantics can prioritize love to such an extreme that they become slightly delusional.
They maydiscountthe smaller actions their partner takes, and quieter qualities like honest communication andemotional vulnerability.
It can be a way to avoid commitment and prevent working through issues, says licensed therapistRachel Goldberg.
Over time, it could lead toa pattern of unhealthy relationshipsor difficulty maintaining long-term commitments.
Individuals tend to idealize their partners and place them on (perhaps unearned) pedestals, says Gaddy.
Hopeless romantics may sometimesoverlook issuesthey believe can be fixed or are just a fluke, says Goldberg.
They may overlook a persons problematic, hurtful, avoidant, and disingenuous qualities, Harrison agrees.
Love is always the topicits all they talk about, think about, and dream about.
Friendships can become one-sided, says certified addiction and trauma counselorAudrey Hope.
The key lies in how this romantic outlook influences ones life and relationships, Paruolo says.
Does it inspire personal growth and a deeper appreciation for love, or does it lead to repeated disappointments?
If the answer skews towards the latter, you probably need to re-center.
Take time to identify the beliefs behind your behavior.
If the answer feels too heavy to deal with on your own,seek therapy.
This can help you focus on yourself and improve your relationships with others.
The foundation of any strong relationship with another person starts with a strong relationship with yourself, says Rednam-Waldo.
Everyone deserves a partner who truly sees them for who they are, not just through a cinematic lens.
Relationships are work, not just passion and fireworks, psychotherapistFatemeh Farahansays.
Instead of chasing the big, sweeping moments, start looking for love in the small, everyday gestures.
Thats where the magic really happens.
Love isnt a constant whirlwindits built brick by brick through trust, effort, and mutual respect.
