It was love at first sight.
Not my love for my husband.
That developed slowly over four years.
Photo: Robert Discalfani
I am talking about my wedding venue.
The sea-facing lawn was unlike any location I had seen inMumbai.
We need to start the ceremony early.
It will photograph beautifully before the sun sets, I gushed.
On the day, my husband walked into the mandap over an hour late.
When ourpherasfinally began, an inky sky had wiped out my dream of an Instagram-perfect wedding.
I am not an influencer, and I didnt expect the day to become my claim to fame.
I also hadnt grown up with a starry-eyed picture of a big wedding.
Yet, social media had warped the meaning of marriage for me in many ways.
While picking a photographer, my feed led me to thousands of options that muddled my mind.
We have been fed the idea of a big, fat Indian wedding our whole lives.
Butsocial mediais more insidious.
Theres a certain amount of awareness when watching a movie that it isnt real life.
But that moment on Instagram is someones reality, making it more attainable in some ways.
Brides, including me, often forget that social media influencers sell us a product, not reality.
On a reality show,Alanna Pandayunabashedly shared how her wedding was meant to earn her big bucks.
Its a huge opportunity for us to not only grow on social media but also to make money.
Besides, obviously, its also a very big day for us personally.
But I think in terms of brand deals, its the biggest time in a creators life.
Thats at least how I view it, anyway.
But recently, weve also been asked to turn in the photographs within 24-48 hours.
Some couples want their photographs to be shot in an editorial style so that magazines pick them up.
There are multiple stakeholders and cultural nuances involved.
Theres insurmountable pressure to look and dress a certain way.
Lets not forget that its an emotional moment because women often leave their parents home.
Then, theres a layer of a thousand uninvited strangers viewing your big day on social media.
I was worried about everything, everywhere, all at once.
I worried that Id get an anxiety attack or trip over my own lehenga while walking down the aisle.
I worried Id forget my steps while dancing and the moment would be caught on camera.
At some point, the purpose of this wedding had slipped.
I had forgotten that this was the beginning of something special with my partner.
Looking for help in coping with my emotions, I sought therapy.
Itll help you remember why youre doing this in the first place, Vasunia says.
Theres a lot of pressure on how your wedding is meant to be the best day of your life.
Looking back, mine did turn out that way.
Not because it was meant to.
Not because I wore a designer lehenga or a heavy necklace.
And not because the sunlight was perfect in my photos.
It was because I married the love of my life.
I had done the inner work to realize thatand forgive him for turning up late.
