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Ill admit it: I may not be watchingThe White Lotusthe right way.
Photo: Fabio Lovino/HBO
To those people I say,Sure…but what if its both?
Or a trip with my partner!
Or a trip with my family!
Or literally any trip!
Also: I, like Shoshanna Shapiro inGirls,love products.
(Do said guests actually ever find that happiness and peace?
Wont catch me doing that!)
There was, naturally, only one way to find out.
Below, a day in the life of a writer poor in travel miles but rich inWhite Lotusswag.
I wake up and instantly spritz my face with aWhite Lotusx KiehlsCucumber Spritz facial spray.
I am now anxiously googling kiehls products dog lick safe?
Question: Am I the only one who thinks the shooter from the episode-one teaser is…a monkey?
Monkeys can get their hands on guns!Its happened!
This isnt Hollywood, okay?
This thing is roomy, baby!
Thank you, Kiehls !
I devour an entire Compartes xThe White Lotuslimited-editionAperitif Spritz chocolate bar, which is bright orange and upsettingly good.
Again, Im just working on nonWhite Lotusprojects during this time.
Boring, I know, but I have to earn a living!
Im (regrettably) not Aimee Lou Wood getting massages onWalton Gogginss dime!
Finally, a use for myWhite Lotusx Awaypacking cubes!
Packing cubes make no SENSE.
Okay, I figured them out.
As it turns out, packing cubes might indeed make sense.
My bags (i.e.
(This one iscookies-and-cream flavoredand features a photo ofJennifer Coolidge as Tanya McQuoidon the packaging.
We miss you, Tanya!)
No shade to the good people at Compartes, but I do not feel well.
(Who would have thought?
Also, how longaretheWhite Lotusguests there?
Do we know how much time is elapsing over the course of each season?)
