I was 22 when I first went to India.
In the late 90s, the hippie trail from Agra to Jaipur to Rishikesh was still full of backpackers.
We were two recent Harvard graduates in India, and we were all about doing our homework.
WHAT TO WEARThe author on a research trip to Bangladesh in 2007: “A shalwar kameez was de rigueur for even the least religious women," writes Freudenberger.
Young people may be known for taking risks, but often that rebellion has a conventional shape.
Looking back, our pretensions to authenticity were just another set of rules.
STREET SCENEThe author, age 23, in Khajuraho, India, 1998.
STREET SCENEThe author, age 23, in Khajuraho, India, 1998. Photo: Alex Travelli.
Photo: Alex Travelli.
I opted instead for long skirts and short-sleeve blouses, modest but impractical for a hike or overnight train.
When I opened my eyes, I was surrounded by a crowd of curious onlookers.
And in Orchha, India, on the same trip in 1998. Photo: Alex Travelli.
In my attempt to fit in, Id wound up the most foolish kind of spectacle.
And in Orchha, India, on the same trip in 1998.
Photo: Alex Travelli.
The bedroom Freudenberger stayed in on a visit to Shyamnagar, Bangladesh, in 2007.
A few years later I went to India alone, to work on my first book.
He had no problem with white girls in Indian clothes; hed dated plenty of us.
The waist was laughably tight, and I didnt come close to filling out the top.
In Bangladesh, on the Sundarbans river delta in 2007.
I went back to the hotel early while my date partied into the night.
The bedroom Freudenberger stayed in on a visit to Shyamnagar, Bangladesh, in 2007.
Farah had recently come to the US from Bangladesh to marry her American fiance, Dave.
Early in 2007 I accompanied her to Bangladesh to meet her family.
My friend had been concerned that I wouldnt have the requisite clothes, but this time Id come prepared.
My favorite was made of translucent mint green cotton, with delicate white embroidery on the smock and sleeves.
In Bangladesh, on the Sundarbans river delta in 2007.
The color didnt wash me out, and the cut was flattering to my very minor curves.
In it I felt cool, comfortable, and for the first time in South Asia, even pretty.
Maybe that was because Id finally chosen for myself.
Soon after we arrived, Farah suggested a bathin the village pond.
Were laughing but also inventing things: one of us a story, the other a whole new life.
