In 1987, Elizabeth Taylor was ready to talk.
The interview, in its entirely, below.
Lets face it, she says, I was a freak.
Photographed by Wayne Maser,Vogue, October 1987
The question is, are we ready for Liz Taylor, feminist heroine?
Elizabeth Taylor is amused at the new perception of herself as a heroine.
Not unflattered, she says, but amused.
Photographed by Wayne Maser,Vogue, October 1987
Taylors transformation has been dramatic and hard-won; along the way, she has made rooters of us all.
Absolutely not, she says when asked.
(Taylor also has a new perfume, Elizabeth Taylors Passion.)
Photographed by Wayne Maser,Vogue, October 1987
This is the new role, the new incarnation; this is Elizabeth Taylor sober and solo.
Thats a difference; I always needed a man in my life.
Now, I enjoy the time alone, the quiet moments.
Photographed by Wayne Maser,Vogue, October 1987
I enjoy being introspective.
This is a growing stage for me.
Im learning to leave myself open and be receptive to new things.
I think I have an inner peace which is evolving.
Im very happy right now.
Im sort of beginning to grow up.
But Ive always been pretty outspoken, she says, always taken risks.
I remember once, when I was fifteen, and under contract to MGM, Louis .
Mayer had insulted my mother and I told him, ‘You and your studio can go to hell.’
They all came after me and told me I should go back in and apologize to him.
I said, ‘Hes the one who should apologize to my mother.’
I never did go back in.
But nothing happened; I wasnt fired and the only reason was because I was in demand.
I already knew who I was, and I knew the phoniness of this town.
That phoniness is partially what prodded Taylor into the AIDS fight.
So-called friends found various ways of turning me down, she says.
Everyone was scared back then, squeamish.
I was angered by their in-the-closet attitude.
But its not just Hollywood.
The whole worlds so phony about AIDS, still.
They act as if only homosexuals can get it.
You should see the Senators faces when I tell them it can be transmitted vaginally.
That fame began back in 1944, when the release ofNational Velvetmade Elizabeth Taylor a star at age twelve.
In effect, she had stardom in lieu of a childhood.
Lets face it, she says, I was a freak.
I didnt see my first baseball game till last year.
I never went to a senior prom.
I dont resent it now, but I did then.
I wasnt a normal teenager.
I wasnt doing the things my brother was doing or the girl across the street.
This is said with no bitterness at all, but rather with a girlish wistfulness.
Only a couple of times has it been a stretch, she says of her acting.
Being stoned, she says, helped her get over her innate shyness, helped her escape.
But, usually before I reach the abyss, I start pulling back.
All during my life Ive been able to do that, to take the positive from the negative.
It might sound very Pollyanna-ish, but I believe theres a reason for everything, a lesson in it.
The only time in my life I was bitter was after Mikes death.
They married in 1957 when she was twenty-four, he fifty.
It was fantastic, she says.
I felt like Id come home; no, I felt like Id found home.
I find that she will, in fact, talk about them.
Then it became clear.
If Id been on that plane I would never have met Richard.
We talked about Mike all the time.
Eddie had known him and idolized him, so it was a way of keeping Mike alive.
I guess thats pretty sick.
I loved him for twenty-five years.
We had a unique relationship.
I thought hed always be there, at the other end of the phone.
Even if we werent together, he was still in the world.
I just lost my identity, she says.
Wed only been married three months when John decided to run.
So we didnt have the foundation of a relationship, the intimacy to fall back on.
Then once he was in the Senate, I was redundant.
I just ate and drank more.
I think it was from pure loneliness.
My friends tried to stop me, she says.
They kept saying, You have no theater training; your voice will never reach the back row.
But I dug in my heels.
I never felt so alone in my life, she says of her stay there.
It was like being in a sorority.
We all belong to the same sorority of addicts; Betty Ford is our alma mater.
Her only dark times now, she says, are when shes in painusually from an old back injury.
She uses medication only when hospitalized, and has one vice left: cigarettes.
They see my life as a yo-yo: good and bad, in and out, up and down.
Right now, things are good; I seem to be on a roll.
Im sure I’ll fuck it up again, she adds with a gusty laugh.
