For as long as I can remember, I have always hated eating alone.
As a travel writer, that has proven quite problematic.
From that point forward, leaning on her to save me at school wasnt an option.
Photographed by Nigel Shafran,Vogue,November 2021
But most of the time, especially during those initial few weeks, I ate in the bathroom.
But eating alone at dinnertime?
It never had been.
It was all those dinners that lay aheadones where Id inevitably have to eat alone.
By the time I arrived in Mallorca, I had already had a few sessions with my spiritual teacher.
I realized Elliot was right.
Idoget off on the things that I dont like about myself.
Just cause Im a nasty freak like that.
I realized at some subconscious level, I needed that.
And what transpired was marvelous.
The old me (the pre-Existential Kink, scared-of-dining-alone me) would have canceled and ordered room service instead.
As each course came out, I made a point of inquiring about ingredients and where they were sourced.
I asked questions about the wine and asked for more.
I ate herbed bread with layers upon layers of citrusy butter.
I found an almosteroticenjoyment in being alone and in dining alone.
And at that moment, its like something clicked.
As Elliot notes, it was an experience I had made manifestone all of my own, kinky creation.
