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There are things no one tells you about what will happen when you quit being an elite athlete.
Photo: Getty Images
That when its over for you its over, immediately.
That youll lose your mind and you wont realize until its truly gone.
Rewind to August 2009: a 15-year-old Rebecca has just become the world number one in the 50-meter.
Rebecca Achieng Ajulu-Bushell’s sporting success began in childhood. Here, she wins first place at a gala in Nairobi, Kenya.
(Black people dont swim, they said, she recalls in her memoir.
Black people cant swim.
Well, fuck you, I thought.)
Yet two years laterwith the 2012 London Olympics in touching distanceshe walked away from it all.
I needed to walk awayI had to.
Staying until I couldnt win anymore felt like a death sentence.
Ajulu-Bushell, 30, has chosen her local pub in Highbury, London, as a meeting spot.
Still, shes at ease with her surroundings.
Its been 12 years since she made the life-altering choice to leave swimming.
By anyones measure, she is highly successful.
And yet, the pain of her years as a swimmer still sits close to the surface.
(Tom Daley was a classmate.)
It was a lonely life for a teenager.
Rebecca Achieng Ajulu-Bushells sporting success began in childhood.
Here, she wins first place at a gala in Nairobi, Kenya.
Overnight, it was suddenly this thing that people wanted to talk about again, she says.
Thats when I really gave myself permission to think about telling the story.
Ive always been at war with myself, she says quietly.
Since her own swimming career ended, Ajulu-Bushell doesnt believe things have changed much.
You will lose your scholarship, your funding, and its gonna get hushed up.
Being able to tell her own story is liberating.
Ive always been someone who likes to control the whole piece myself, she says.
And then a full day of audit starters, back-to-back calls…
The book sold the same week I got this job offer, she says, eyes wide.
But its been worth it.
I went up to her afterwards and said, My God, youre amazing.
I would love to hear more about your story.
It transpired she had been an intern through their program two years ago.
Those are very beautiful moments I feel very privileged to be able to receive, she says.
Thats when I feel the most successful.
These Heavy Black Bonesby Rebecca Achieng Ajulu-Bushell isout on June 6.
