When I was diagnosed with cancer, people finally began treating me like I could die.
People sent me food; people bothered me less.
However, I was sick long before lymphoma and I will be sick long after.
ITALY - OCTOBER 06: The Pain, 1900, painting by Giorgio Kienerk (1869-1948), part of the Human enigma triptych, detail, oil on canvas, 188x63 cm. Italy, 20th century. Pavia, Musei Civici Del Castello Visconteo, Pinacoteca Malaspina (Art Gallery) (Photo by DeAgostini/Getty Images)
After all, the therapies wereevidence-based!
I knew my decade-long psychiatric treatment had been bad, but my cancer treatment showed me justhowbad.
The dissonance made me feel insane.
Oncology is considered a noble profession.
We throw resources behind cancer care.
This is not to say that cancer care is not deserving of such resources and respect, she said.
It is more to highlight how profoundly such resources and respect are lacking in the sphere of mental illness.
My cancer hospital had social workers call me, outside of scheduled appointments, just to check in.
Where was my palliative doctor then?
Platitudes about reaching out for help make me a little queasy, because often the help is the problem.
Do we blame patients whose cancer doesnt respond to first, second, and third line treatments?
Do we accuse them of not wanting to get better?
Do we discharge them from hospitals and hope they figure it out on their own?
To be clear: Having cancer was horrible.
Cancer is really, really bad.
College students just go there wanting a vacation because theyre a little sad, she said.
They all have borderline personality disorder, which isnt really real.
