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Then, in Los Angeles, shell head to West Hollywoods Night + Market.
Photo: David Scott Holloway
Vogue: The books name,Care and Feeding, is very evocative.
How did you land on that?
It resonated with me.
Anthony Bourdain and Laurie Woolever at the Drake Hotel in Toronto on October 31, 2016, doing press forAppetites: A Cookbook, which had been published the prior week.
This is a story that Ive been writing in my head for a long time.
Id considered a book of essays or a novelized version.
I was trying to do better, and the book spurred that.
Anthony Bourdain and Laurie Woolever at Aqueduct racetrack in Queens in 2016.
I didnt think the stories needed the sheen of fiction.
Food in pop culture has become so ubiquitous, fromKitchen ConfidentialtoThe Bear.
Has that brought with it a better understanding of the darker sides of kitchens?
Anthony Bourdain and Laurie Woolever in Dong Ba market in Hue, Vietnam, in March 2014, during a shoot forParts Unknown. Credit: Scott Holloway. This was Laurie Woolever’s first time joining Bourdain and theParts Unknowncrew on the road, and Bourdain had just shot a scene with (the now-late journalist) Nguyen Qui Duc, during which they talked about politics and ate bowls of Bun Bo Hue soup.
I think theres more openness to hearing behind-the-scenes stories, or even more nuanced stories of peoples behavior.
But, I mean, we had George OrwellsDown and Out in Paris and London.
Carmy presents one bang out of chef that young people will see themselves in.
Your book is so vivid and confronting.
Did it feel like researching your past self?
I was grateful to my past self for having kept good notesI journaled and kept all my emails.
They brought back old feelingssome funny and entertaining, some gut-wrenching, mortifying, and sad.
You describe yourself in the book as an addict-in-training.
Do you feel a tenderness for yourself?
I would be drunk, high, and socializing in the restaurant-industry heyday.
I wanted something more, but I couldnt get out of my own way.
I was so hard on myself.
I didnt understand why the same things kept happening when I kept making the same bad decisions.
I feel more protective of that version of myself now.
It still feels fresh, too, to have more narratives by women about addiction.
Leslie Jamisonwrites so clearly and beautifully about addiction.
Im happy to join the company.
As a woman, I think people reserve an extra level of judgment:Youre a mother.
His wellbeing was top of mind when I decided that I had to make a change in my life.
Was honesty ever difficult when getting your story on the page?
Honesty is one of the cornerstones of the 12-step approach to getting and staying sober.
And its a good guideline for writing.
Its a good guideline for interacting with people in the world, making decisions about how to behave.
Your work has interpolated the work of two quite dominant, deified male personalities.
How have you kept to and cultivated your own voice?
Especially about Mario Batali, who is somebody who controlled the world around him through fear and intimidation.
There were times where I shied away from criticizing him.
I also have another sense of freedom with my voice now.
My mother is no longer alive.
Your portrayal of Mario is really layered.
How was it to revisit those memories, work out that complexity yourself?
Its very easy to say this man is a monster, end of story.
That was the prevailing sentiment publicly in 2017, when the allegations came out.
for be honest and accurate, I wanted to include the more ambiguous parts.
I benefited a lot from being associated with him.
There was a reason why he was so popular.
I wanted to show its not so black and white.
I didnt feel emotionally devastated by this when I came to write.
I felt like I had a little more of a clear-eyed, clinical perspective on things.
It definitely had a chilling effect for the 28-year-old I was.
How did your image of and relationship with him evolve?
I knew he could sketch an outline for his new book and his publisher would say yes.
He could move through the world mostly the way he wanted to.
It was more complicated than I realized.
I dont think I truly understood how tiring it was to be him.
Of course, as his assistant I knew his schedule.
I knew he was traveling 200-250 days a year.
But I just saw the power.
Did his path to stardom make sense?
When I first met Tony, it was two years after he had publishedKitchen Confidential.
I was just there to do the cookbook.
When I became his assistant in 2009, he was even more established.
He was winning awards and changing from the Travel Channel to CNN.
I saw the opportunities get bigger, the stakes also get higher, and him spreading himself thinner.
What was it like, going out to restaurants with him?
It was almost impossible for him to move around without being recognized.
I mean, he had a very distinctive look.
He was tall, good-looking!
He was as adored in a restaurant as he was in a sneaker shop or car dealership.
He would only refuse a photo if he was with his child.
There was this deified role in the world of hospitality.
Pretty early on I had to separate from it.
I had to recognize that everyone is entitled to their grief, whether or not they knew him.
In a way, it was very comforting to see those strong feelings.
And theres a legacy that lives on that people are still discovering every day through his shows and books.
What excites you in food media right now?
Whats so welcome is the widening of the platform and the borders.
When I started in food media, everything was very luxury-focused.
Coverage in magazines and newspapers was for high-end restaurants, resorts, golf courses, French food, truffles!
Home cooking has crossed over in a way I love.
And there is food media now that speaks to everyones interests.
This conversation has been edited and condensed.
