Fuck, I cant do it, she said, trembling.
Fuck, I really cant do itIm so sorry!
I cant do the show.
Photo: Aidan Zamiri
A ripple of nervous laughter swept through the room.
Was she for real?
I could do something else?
For her performance, McMenamy wore a custom bodysuit by the designer Monique Fei.
I just cant do it!
Im not connected to the eternal muse!
For her performance, McMenamy wore a custom bodysuit by the designer Monique Fei.
Photo: Aidan Zamiri
Ive always thought that was very cool.
(One assumes shes referring to the grisly Grimm originals rather than their latter-day, sanitized Disney counterparts.)
(Think Greta GerwigsBarbieremade by Dario Argento on an acid trip, and youre somewhere close.)
Photo: Aidan Zamiri
Its fitting, given that McMenamys journey to becoming an artist wasnt exactly prototypical either.
If she looks a little familiar, it could be for two reasons.
McMenamy says of the confidence modeling initially brought her.
Photo: Aidan Zamiri
I can just pop into these different characters.
But then with time, it kind of dawns on you that thats not really your true self either.
And modeling is not really the right container or vessel for the kind of expression I wanted to do.
McMenamy pulls a cheeky, performative grin.
But along the way, theyve kind of evolved into having a life of their own.
It is scary, because you dont want to hurt people you love.
And you also dont want it to be this awkward spilling of trauma or too on the nose.
To an average Joe like me, it sounds absolutely terrifying.
McMenamy had been studying in Berlin before that but was feeling adrift.
After coming across Jacques Lecoq, she initially signed up for a weekly night course.
I just found my tribe and my language in this crazy way by being there, she says.
It wassosick, McMenamy says.
It was the happiest time of my life.
The journey they take you on is so magical.
They truly teach you to be an artist in your own right and not need a director.
Youre really confronted with yourself, so there are peaks and troughs.
Because with this, Im the big bosstheres so much to take care of.
And so there is a nice kind of surrender to going back [to modeling].
But I would say Im not the most pliable.
I love to get creatively involved, to everyones annoyance, probably.
Give me a movement director at your peril!
At Goldsmiths, she fell down the rabbit hole of critical theory around modeling, describing Elspeth H. BrownsWork!
A Queer History of Modelingas being particularly revelatory.
You have to be sealed and sanitized, in a way.
Im fascinated by what spills out of the sides of that when you attempt to hold it in.
I think so, says McMenamy after a pause.
But I hope its therapeutic for everyone else in the room also.
It completely reboots the way you think.
This goes some way to explaining whyA Holefeels so uncategorizable.
Is it a piece of theater?
A work of performance art?
I think its just a lot more fun when you think about something in the wrong context.
Perhaps the most surprising element ofA Holeis just how funny it is.
Was she expecting the kind of laughs she got at that show in Paris?
In my head, Im like,I dont want to be doing comedy, she says.
But then as soon as I get on a stage, I live for the laughter.
But, as always with McMenamy, any risk of gettingtoohighbrow is brought swiftly back down to earth.
