For a moment, Indhu Rubasingham stops speaking, catches her breath, blinks back tears.
Oh, Im sorry, she says.
But I wouldnt be here if it wasnt for my dad.
Indhu Rubasingham wears an Erdem twill coat with sequin embroidery.Fashion Editor: Eniola Dare.
He would be so blown away that I got this job.
She pauses again, waving her hand in front of her face to chase away the emotion.
Compared to other friends, looking back, I realize that I was allowed to be myself.
Indhu Rubasingham at the Tricycle Theatre, which she later renamed the Kiln, in 1998.
We were always encouraged to have the discussion, though he was very apprehensive about the lack of jobs.
But then [the director] Peter Brook came to see it.
And so that was OK. That was funny.
She laughs, warmly and loudly, full of pride and affection.
This is, after all, the theater founded in 1963 with Laurence Olivier as its director.
Many of its productions are the stuff of legend.
My parents had an arranged marriage, but they were very happy.
It was just breaking down myths.
We were a very tight family.
The house was always full of people; the door was always open.
It was a loving community.
I was backstage with stage management and I absolutely fell in love with it.
I loved sweeping the stage!
I remember watching people come out of their offices and they all looked very gray.
But this world of theater felt very magical and colorful.
That was when I thought, Oooh, I need to work out what this is about.
It was the first contemporary play I had seen, she says.
It felt so relevant to the time.
I didnt realize theater could be so visceral, political, emotional.
A disco soundtrack from one of the bars on the bustling riverbank below provides a constant soundtrack.
It helps that she has experience actually running a building.
Ive been overwhelmed, tired, exhausted.
I dont feel that here.
Theres a sense Ive done the job.
Yes, its much bigger, but the principles are the same.
Ive got to program shows that sell tickets.
Ive got to have a narrative.
And there are just so many good people working here.
Theres a lot of support.
If theres something I dont know about, there are people I can talk to.
Im not finding it out on my own.
The answer is typical of Rubasingham.
The adjectives used to describe her are remarkably consistent.
The word negroni also appeared, albeit in slightly smaller pop in.
There is a sense that many in her industry not only admire her, but love her too.
She transformedThe Wife of Willesdenfrom a literary exercise to a living thing.
Thats what I value in her: life.
Actor Clare Perkins starred in that show and notices the same quality.
She works really, really hard, but its never a burden for her, its always a joy.
When I think about Indhu, I think about that smile on her face.
Yet throughout her career, Rubasingham has always had to battle her own doubts and other peoples preconceptions.
When she went to Hull, she spent her first year being utterly intimidated.
I felt a complete fraud.
She didnt push herself forward, didnt direct.
But in the summer break, I just gave myself a bit of a talking to.
I said, Right, youre going to direct a play.
Indhu Rubasingham at the Tricycle Theatre, which she later renamed the Kiln, in 1998.
It was so overtly theatrical to someone who was new to it.
For Indhu and me it was a transformative opportunity.
But that doesnt mean Rubasinghams path has been easy.
It was a different time.
[People of color] werent in the conversation as we are now.
There werent people that I could naturally follow.
It wasnt just race that proved a barrier.
Being a woman also led to resistance.
I remember cutting my hair, she says.
I remember someone saying: What is it about all you women directors that have short hair?
We are equal when everyone is being treated as an individual artist, not as a representative of something.
This lies at the core of her vision.
What gives me goosebumps, she says, are big stories I feel havent been told before.
Thats what Im really, really interested in.
Im feeling so inarticulate, she says, an unnecessary apology for the words tumbling out.
Peter Hall and Richard Eyre both left diaries that recorded suicidal thoughts.
Indhus deep humility is one of her many strengths, Blanchett emails.
Its built on the call and response of genuine deep-time creative collaborations.
Indhu will do that.
She is a strong personality, shes sharp and shes a really great director.
Shes not afraid to be herself and doesnt pretend to be anyone else.
Rubasingham echoes this belief in the importance of charting her own course.
But at the moment, I am thinking two things.
The first is that I am adamant about enjoying the job.
It is a privilege and an honor to be here and to do what we do.
I want to keep reminding myself of that.
Between the two of us, we will set the tone and the culture, Rubasingham says.
I found it stronger and really beautiful.
She also admired the Alicia Keys musicalHells Kitchen.
Im a big fan of Alicia Keys and the talent on that stage was just beyond anything.
She has never married and doesnt have a partner or children.
I made this choice that work was going to be my passion, she says.
A friend joked, Whos your partner?
When I was leaving Kiln, it was like leaving a relationship.
She laughs again, loud and deep.
She watches cookery shows on YouTube but doesnt cook much herself.
She is also a huge fan of all medical dramas on TV.
Im obsessed with them.
I think Im secretly a frustrated doctor.
What is it about theater that has made her dedicate her life to it?
The synergy of a group of people that creates magic.
And I genuinely mean magic.
Its something that is beyond us, that is almost spiritual.
That collective live experience where you cant be texting, you cant be on your phone.
Its probably one of the only mediums where you cant be in your own world.
You have to share it with a lot of people.
It is about society and community and also storytelling.
Shes worked with both before and describes them as critical friends.
That, at root, is her vision for the job she has taken on.
We are living in this time of incredible polarized extremes, she says.
How do we stop this absolutist black and white?
She pauses, smiles, that Rubasingham warmth emanating from her.
Theater sits beautifully in the gray area, in the nuance, she says.
Thats what I want to celebrate.
In this story: hair, Tomi Roppongi; make-up, Kirstin Piggott.
Set design: Tobias Blackmore
