My grandfather, Morris, as I knew him, was not a fashionable man.
But I didnt have anything of Papos to remember him by.
I wanted something that reminded me that, for 19 years, we existed on earth together.
Photographed by kya
I worried that without a physical memento to ground me, my memories of him would fade.
Morris and Dolores Krakowsky.
At 80 lbs., he was in the end stages of deterioration, near death from starvation and exhaustion.
Morris and Dolores Krakowsky.
What does one feel on having his death sentence commuted?
For almost six years, we lived with a death sentence over our heads.
I dont think that many of us expected to survive.
Papo wearing one of his many windbreakers on a trip to London in the 1970s.
And so many didnt.
His sister Hania was murdered in Treblinka; his mother Chana died in Bergen-Belsen.
Ive known about the Holocaust and my familys history for nearly as long as I can remember.
The author with her brother and grandparents.
But Papo didnt like to talk about his experience, especially not with his four grandchildren.
This is a terrible burden.)
I couldnt reconcile that this was my sweet Papo.
I struggle to, even now.
Papo wearing one of his many windbreakers on a trip to London in the 1970s.
I went to my grandparents house for the last time on January 1, 2020.
My mom was selling the house and donating its contents.
I plucked Papos navy blue windbreaker off the hanger, its microfiber shell soft as velvet in my hands.
When I started wearing it, I was taken aback by just how many compliments it received.
But it also made me happy to see him in the world in unexpected places.
The author with her brother and grandparents.
My relationship with my Papo seemed entirely marked by intangibility.
He was a man of few words: A simple shoulder shrug or a small nod said it all.
Yes, the eyewitness accounts of incomprehensible evil, but also the stories of family I never knew.
Some days, I just wear it because I miss him.
