Iamcurvybut curvy enough to go in for a curve casting?
From my maternal grandmothera six-foot-tall corn- and matzah-fed midwestern beauty, I inherited the rest.
I am not, though, plus-size, even by New Yorks distorted standards.
Mikael Jansson
When I was growing up in the 2000s, Renee Zellweger was considered chubby.
One girl got so thin during filming that she stopped being plus-size altogether.
You always want to be invited to a party, even if you dont want to go.
For the next week, I stared at the message whenever I opened my phone.
to my friend, and then her boyfriend would say things like, And this isnt a scam?
I would respond haughtily that Im sure nobody ever asked Gisele if she was being scammed.
I also thought about the woman who made me who I am today:Carrie Bradshaw.
Stanford tells her, Youre the modeley-iest of the real people.
So I went anyway, crossing the threshold from person who wants to beaskedto person whowants.
She ushered me into a room.
So, youre 17?
This, though, was not the right answer.
Pursing her lips, she followed with, Whats your ethnicity?
I was confident in this answer.
Leaning away from me: And what are your hobbies?
I repeated the word doltishly.
Is that a hobby?
Yes, according to the IRS.
She capped her pen.
Somehow this agent thought I was a non-white plus-size teenage hobbyist.
Time to take digitals.
I wanted to say, Stop no!
I dont look good from that angle!
But the point of modeling, of course, is to look good from that angle.
It was all very frightening.
My smile became gummy, haunted by the question.
I resisted the urge to yell out, And what areyourhobbies?!
How had the modeling industry gotten here?
Today there are Instagram models and influencer models.
Sinking self-worth into a volatile market is a bad investment.
Worse still, when had I decided to take myself soseriously?
As she shooed me out the door, the agent said, Ill email you the digitals.
She never emailed me the digitals.
Standing on the street in FiDi, though, I realized she was right.
I did need a hobby.
