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As a seasoned and respected journalist, I knew exactly what I had to do: Google.

Image may contain Clothing Footwear High Heel and Shoe

Photo: Lyst

(This isn’t my first footwear-related rationalization, but it may in fact be my magnum opus.)

Unfortunately, my search for the Louboutins of my literal dreams hasn’t been smooth sailing.

(Oh, right,Balenciagaalready did that!)