From that moment, my husband and I became jewelry-obsessed.
Yet, for all our meticulous deliberations, one possibility never crossed our minds: a lab-grown diamond.
We were traditionalists, and tradition dictated a mined stone.
Illustration by Kubi Vasak
(Plus, if Im really being honest, we were a little snooty about it.)
But if I were to do it all again, would I make the same choice?
The diamond industry pulled off one of the most brilliant marketing campaigns of all time.
They managed to equate the value of your marriage with how much a man spends on a rock.
A proposal without one was about as unthinkable as a wedding without a bride.
And, like beauty, value is in the eye of the beholder.
To illustrate this, Sailer invokes another symbol of engineered exclusivity: the Birkin bag.
The craftsmanship would be identical.
Would you want one?
I pause, considering the thought experiment.
To someone like me, who prizes tradition and craftsmanship, the proposition feels almost radical.
But… would I need to tell people its an AI-Birkin?
And would I need to tell people a four-carat diamond is lab-grown?
The very thought feels absurdbut then again, isnt that the whole point of luxury?
Natasha Lisle, a newly engaged Brit living in Manhattan, pokes a hole in this fashion theory.
I dont think anyone actuallyaskedabout it?
(I wanted it to look like the top of the Empire State Building.)
My friends mostly just wanted to hear about my proposal, she tells me.
And of course they did: What kind of friends (frenemies!)
want to hear those details best kept confidential on a GIA certificate?
Is my ring less legitimate because it was made a certain way?
Kym Canter, another former editor-turned-lab-grown diamond doyenne, has a word for this group: snobs.
I find that within my friends in fashion, they all go, Really?
Youre going to do lab-grown?
Its like second-class citizen stuff in the diamond world.
Lynn Yaeger is one of my best friends, and Lynn is so anti-lab-grown.
We fight over it all the time.
That was my personal interest.
The whole thing about a diamond is the story, right?
Theyve always been symbols of wealth, of love, of power.
And I think now theres sort of a diamond story for everyone.
Its a seismic shift in consumer behavior thats shaken up the diamond industry in a big way.
And as for prices?
The technology, while groundbreaking, wasnt yet refined enough for gem-quality stones.
But by the 1980s and 90s, researchers were making significant progress, developing methods to create gem-grade diamonds.
It wasnt until the early 2000s that the jewelry world really started paying attention.
Startups began to emerge, producing high-quality lab-grown diamonds at a fraction of the cost of mined ones.
Here, lab-grown diamonds arent just an alternative, theyre the future of fine jewelry.
We can experiment with bolder designs, larger stones, and unexpected configs without the usual limitations.
Dont they want to wear an insurance liability to Pilates?
Biologically speaking, I tell him, grand displays have always been part of courtship.
Case in point: recent bride-to-be Paris Jackson, who commissioned a ring from Dousset.
It goes without saying that Jackson doesnt need to pinch pennies.
The result was not only deeply personal but also elevated the entire experience into something truly magical.
More women are realizing that lab-grown isnt a downgradeits just smart.
Fisher and I swap stories of women who wear lab-grown rings proudly.
Take Hannah Bronfman, whose husband surprised her with a second engagement ring years after their wedding.
I save this inquiry for my divorced friend, the only person I trust to answer it honestly.
Im going lab-grown all the way, she tells me flatly.
That is, if I get married again.
Youre going to lose moneymight as well lose less.
Meaning the ring I was proposed to with just two years ago?
Its now worth considerably less.
For the same price, I could have had a bigger diamondand kept a chunk of change.
So what does this mean for big diamonds?
Not Big Diamond, the industry, but big diamonds, as in carats?
If five-carat rocks are no longer financially out of reach, does bigger is better still hold up?
If everyone has a big rock, do you still want one?
Sailer Van Lith doesnt think size will be the next status symbol.
Ive always appreciated when people choose a piece of jewelryespecially an engagement ringthat just suits them, she says.
I always notice when women who could have something massive go for something small and elegant instead.
Theres something really chic about that.
So, if I were to do it all again, would I still go mined?
In hindsight, the answer is crystalor lab-grown diamondclear.
