When it comes to affairs of the heart, we are all beginners.
Some of us, however, at least speak with authority.
Contact her atDearShonVogue@gmail.comfor your own chance at enlightenment.
A lot of us look for frameworks and explanations—like “attachment theory”—to make sense of our fear and confusion.
Dear Shon,
In the spring my first romantic partner broke up with me.
I entered a new relationship a few months later, surprising myself with how quickly I moved on.
How can I get over my new anxious attachment style?
Sincerely,
Anxious
Dear Anxious
Modern dating is a minefield.
This produces greater freedom but also a lot more anxiety.
Attachment theoryis one such framework.
I would urge you to be alittle wary of this cod psychology.
You dont mention your childhood.
Perhaps thereweresignificantly painful experiences with your caregivers such as a parent abandoning you, dying, or being neglectful.
I think pathologizing this too much isnt helpful.
You may not be chronically anxious or permanently damaged with a new style of attachment.
You may just need a little time and reassurance so that bounce back.
Talk to your partner.
you gotta face this fear.
You cant just hide your anxiety indefinitely because you think thats what they want.
This story about the previousbreakupneeds to change for you to feel more secure.
A relationship can fail without either partner being a failure.
Sometimes, the endings of relationships are merciless.
Thats a fact of life.
It doesnt mean theres anything wrong with you.
It means youre human.
