We were discussing practicalities, of which there were essentially none.
But what would be truly disastrous is if you were moving there to be with that fellow.
I dont think I was lying exactly.
Photo: Jonathan Borba/Unsplash
He barely lived anywhere, in any case, moving around depending on artist residencies and gigs.
I was afraid to take any option, refusing the possibility of responsibility which accompanies any decisive action.
Theres something I associate with gaining autonomy at certain parts of a womans life.
My determination to move for this cursed love was another frontier in this lineage.
It was the opposite of the way in which I moved to London.
Then, naturally, I fell in love last summer.
We dated long distance all autumn and winter, knowing I intended to move in January.
I could not afford to have New York colored for me in the same way.
I needed more solid foundations, ones that only I could access.
