I told Jonny about every loaded phrase, every gaze that lasted a little too long.
Well, what the hell are you both doing?
Jonny asked, compelled by my story.
Photo: Courtesy Everett Collection
Sounds like hes in love with you.
After I left the pub, I thought about this a lot.
At my schools parents evening, my teachers used to complain about how much I would daydream during class.
One of them said I disappeared off to Annie Land in their lessons.
Ive always thought being able to do this was kind of like a superpower.
I think fantasizing in this way is part of the reason Im a good writer.
Im forever embellishing things, taking small moments and building them out into something more.
Doing so has attuned me to the most romantic elements of every interaction.
The little crease between his eyebrows when he says Im looking really good at the moment.
Wiping off pastry thats stuck to my lip balm.
I do think I need to leave Annie Land, though, or at least spend less time there.
And Ive been doing that naturally recently without even trying.
Ive been finding it harder to enjoy my fantasies now that what I want is a lot more straightforward.
But I dont want someone who says cryptic thingswho isnt sure about meanymore.
The more I like myself, the more I want what I deserve: someone whos really into me.
Which is basically the most boring rom-com ever.
Theres just one scene, and its us meeting, him liking methen thats it.
I dont have everything, but I have so much more of what I want.
We have such different views on the world.
His friends are so different to my friends.
Because sometimes, the guy in the cafe looking at you for a little bit too long is enough.
