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And it felt good to bealonenot just for a moment, butproperlyalone, for hours on end.
Photographed by Annie Leibovitz,Vogue, July 2004
For as long as I can remember, my partner and I have spent stretches of time apart.
It gives you something to talk about when youre back.
Its not always been this way.
In the early days, I used to find time apart anxiety-inducing.
Im not sure when things changed, but they did, and for the better.
And time apart is fun for her also.
I dont want to be in a relationship with another version of myself.
Just the other day, I told a friend I wanted to travel around Italy by train.
Obviously, too much time away from each other isnt great either.
But life is chaotic, and we cant be expected to feel just right all the time.
I often think about the famous psychologist Esther Perel, and her view on maintaining the erotic.
She describes long-term monogamous relationships as a delicate balancing act that we achieve intermittently at best.
Separateness and togetherness alternate in point and counterpoint.
We need both but its an intricate dance.
Desire resists confinement, and commitment mustnt swallow freedom whole.
Essentially, you shouldnt be afraid to spend time away from your partner.
But there should be a togetherness underpinning the freedom, too.
When I got back from Crete, I felt more present in my surroundings than before.
London seemed brighter, noisier.
