Have you started building your festive roster yet?
Ideally, youll want to have about three people circulating, four if youve got the time.
One might be great for Friday nights: some overpriced cocktails here, a spontaneous quickie there.
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To be clear, Im talking about dating multiple people at once.
And, yes, Im aware this is hardly a revolutionary strategy.
Now, though, were all drinking the roster Kool-Aid.
And let me tell you: its delicious.
I need to add an older man to my roster, a friend recently mused.
Just, like, someone that knows where all the good restaurants are but still has hair.
That would be nice.
Another newly single pal told me shes looking to recruit younger.
One is in the market for an artist to equalize the corporate energyshes a banker.
The ones whose entire nervous system collapses every time they see the little chat bubble.
People who spend the day after a date writing sonnets in their Notes app.
Online dating can make you feel weirdly committed to someone, when realistically youve only just met them.
Personally, Ive also found that having a roster helps to put the fun back into dating.
you could enjoy getting to know new people without putting pressure on yourself or them.
Its not as counter-productive as it sounds.
Seeing different people is like a masterclass in relationship skills, adds Marie Morice, a clinical sexologist.
Ultimately, its about your attitude to it all.
I think having a roster is the definition of being emotionally unavailable, says Niamh*, 30.
But how could you build anything real?
Youre actually just all alone.
This somewhat brutal outlook doesnt apply to everyone, of course.
If it doesnt, go forth and multiply your dating pool.
And maybe consider familiarizing yourself with Excel.
*Names have been changed
